thoughts on turning 40..

Today Ethan asked me, "Is tomorrow your real birthday?" "Are you going to be a bigger number tomorrow?" Indeed, a bigger number I will be, although now that I'm 40 it doesn't seem to be as big of a number as when my parents were 40. Is it possible that I am a younger 40 than my parents were? More youthful in spirit? More adventurous? More in touch with cultural trends? Maybe everyone feels that way compared to their parents. If anything though, I feel that having young kids keeps me young in spirit. When I'm not at work my thoughts are focused on seeing the world through the eyes of my children. What's fun for them is fun for me as only a parent can really understand. Is it different turning 40 and having kids in pre-school and first grade than it is being my age and having kids in high school? Of course it is. Having kids later in life than my parents did has certain advantages and disadvantages. My husband insists that we would not always be this tired if we had had our kids in our 20's. Perhaps he's right. I feel that we have more insight on raising children that we would have had if we had started in our 20's. Perhaps I'm right. I wish I could say I am more patient or more wise than my parents were when I was the age my daughter is now, but I do not know if this is true or not. I can only say with certainty that even at 40, my youth feels like it was only yesterday, and my thoughts and feelings about growing up are very much apart of my consciousness as I watch my children grow and experience new things. Age may be a number but apparently youth really is a state of mind.